Behind The Smile

People say a smile is a medicine that can heal anything. And it is acceptable as well. Despite the hardship Pabitra was dealing with, it was her smile that was giving her the strength to wake up every day to start fresh. Here is the story of the women whom I have met during my stay at Jamune Gaun. It was her dashing smile that was so welcoming however, at the same time, I felt like her smile was trying to tell a success story that may inspire me. I could not resist my urge to talk to her. I found out she was waiting to share her story that she had buried deep inside of her heart for so long. It was the opposite of my hypothesis. 

She always had a hard time since childhood. Due to inter-caste marriage (Dalit and Chhetri) of her parents, her grandparents and the whole community could not accept this. As a result, it always brought conflict in her family. By the time she was at her 2, her family had to shift somewhere else to avoid hatred from her grandparents and the whole community. Like normal children, she started school at 4. But destiny had put away something else for her. Her elder brother was abducted by Maoist at 12. Her family was in anguish. She dropped out of school at the age of twelve. Her close one’s relatives showed her the dream of having a beautiful life with her husband. When she came to the age of 15 under such influence she decided to get married. 

After one year of marriage, she had a son. She and her husband were happy as a family. But her happiness could not remain for a long time. What she did not know was gradually that joy slamming down. Pabitra never thought that his husband would marry again. Her son was three when he brought his 2nd wife. What else may be more annihilating for a lady who cleared out her family behind for a man with a dream of having a joyful life being abandoned by that man on that journey? But nature has created the women in such a way that they easily do not give up and try to hold onto the things, even sacrifice themselves for their loved one. She did not have the heart to leave her son and her husband. Hence, she stayed with him for two years. During that time, she had gone through so much torture, physical, and mental violence. Then one day, she decided she had had enough and talked with her parents and filed the police complaint against her husband. However, she didn’t have enough evidence so she could not hold the case for longer than 22 days. There was no marriage certificate hence she may not claim for any alimony.

Fate has once again born her to the lap of her parents with her son. Then again, their parents search the groom for her. He was also married before though his wife left him when his son was three years old. At first, she was reluctant to marry him. Once she knew he shared the same story as she was convinced and decided to start a new life with him. After marriage, her husband kept his son with him. When she did the same, she felt a kind of sense hatred towards her son from her now-husband. With the force of her now-husband unwillingly, she sent her son to her former husband to make her new marriage work. It has been five years since she has not seen her son.

From childhood to present, her life has been a roller coaster ride. Life has been harsh to her since childhood. When she looks back to her life she laments the choice she has made for herself. She feels like if only she had got proper guidance at that time, her life would have taken a different direction. One wrong decision of her life has almost made her life miserable. Indeed after putting so much effort into making the 1st marriage work she finished up being hurt. She got the wound which is now she is trying to heal with a smile. When she sees her friends who are now independent she regrets dropping out of school. If only the circumstances had been better she could have studied more rather than getting into the marriage, a wrong decision. Life has been a great teacher for her. 

She is once again a mother of a new son. Sadly, she is not happy enough with her now-husband as she cannot make any decisions herself. But she tends to be happy and to smile. She says she is happy now. She used to miss her first son vividly. But she has a hope to meet him soon as well. Her happiness and smiley face may reflect her success story rather than her failure story. And she is proud of it. Now, she wants to be independent. She wished to have some elementary skills such as stitching, knitting, or beautician so that she can lead an independent life. She has the aspiration to have her husband’s support on this. She is sure that one day he will. For now, she is busy nurturing her two sons to make them a good person. According to her smiling, all the time makes her positive and makes her forget the stressed past moments. And that way people would not pity her for the hardship she had dealt with before. 

Pabitra learned from her own life. She urges all women to make the decision wisely and strategically to prevent her kinds of consequences and do not forget to smile.